Explanation of Life! What stage are you in?
God created the dog.
God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
who
comes
in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The
dog
said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give
back
the
other ten." So God agreed (sigh).
On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people,
do
monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life
span."
Monkey
said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so.
Dog
gave
you back ten, so that's what I'll do."
On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to field
with
the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give
milk
to
support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years." The
cow
said,
"That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.
Let me
have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty." And God
agreed.
On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, and
enjoy.
Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years." Man said,
"What?
Only twenty years? No way, man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty,
and the
forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave
back.
That
makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."
So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy,
and do
nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our
family;
for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our
grandchildren;
and
for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at
everybody.
Life has now been explained!
A Googler's inspiration
By PurpleCar
------------------------
google yourself
crush or make
your ego
i am the only me
you may find
among thousands,
millions
of the famous
for 15kb/sec
gmail client
defiant
to recent tradition
google yourself
a memo
remind yourself
to search for
who you are
and what it is
you do best...
-----------------------
So what is so interesting about this poem? That it
was discovered by the "I'm feeling lucky" button with
the search criteria "Google poem." Google responded
saying that Googlers will keep this in mind with the
design of their future services. The poem was written
in response (and support) of an article criticizing
the Gmail:
"But here's the real problem with GMail.
GMail is an email client. Google is a server company.
Hotmail is an email client. Microsoft is a client
company.
Email is a client business."
-Ross from byte.org
Hope this make you chuckle...
So my girlfriend Rebecca and I were driving down the coast of
Northern California a few weeks ago on our return trip from Oregon. It was
late afternoon and we were on the last leg of our trip. The drive was
great, we were going through a beautiful forest, there was some fog in
the air and a little drizzle of rain, yet it was still a crisp and
bright day. We hit a clearing in the road and on the side of the road was a
little gift shop and a towering statue of Paul Bunyan and Babe the Big
Blue Ox. They were HUGE, Paul was at least one hundred feet tall. We
were both excited so I swerved off the road and parked the car.
I got the camera and stood a ways back to get a full picture while
my girlfriend walked toward Paul and Babe. As she was walking up, a
booming voice shouted down, "Howdy little lady."
My girlfriend said, "Hi Paul!", and looked up into the statue's
face.
"What's your name?", Paul asked.
"Rebecca."
"Who's that guy way over there?", he asked her of me.
"That's my boyfriend.", she said.
"HOWDY BOYFRIEND!", he yelled over to me.
I yelled back, "HI PAUL!"
So we take some pictures and have a conversation with Paul for a
while. I'm looking in the window for someone with a microphone. As we
were taking pictures, the drizzle picked up. We noticed a trail behind
Paul, so we decided to go into the woods and check it out and also get
out of the rain for a bit.
So as we were walking back behind Paul, I look over my shoulder
and notice that Babe the Big Blue Ox has a pair of Bigs Blue Ox Balls.
Each one the size of a VW Bug at least! I mention this to my girlfriend,
she laughs. We turn around and walk back down the path and she says,
"That'd be a funny picture, standing underneath Babe's Big Blue
Balls!!", I agreed. She went on, "I mean he'd probably let you, go ask
him, "Paul can we touch Babe's Big Blue Balls?"
A voice thunders down on us, "...Ra....becca...., that's not very
nice."
She apologizes to Paul and we say goodbye, she is too embarrased
to even turn and look at him, she jogs off to the car, she says because
it was raining, but I say it was out of embarrasment.
Paul continued his admonition as she jogged away, "Bye Rebecca,
try to stay out of trouble."
So if not for the sandals, hopefully it made you laugh.
Take Care,
NAME REMOVED
Hello:
I am in
need of a pair of sandals (pretty much desperately, living with shared bathroom
quarters in S.F.);
As for
the funny story or anecdote, I really do not carry a lot of funny stories, but
I made up a nine to five shower sonnet
this evening whilst ‘so doing’ and hope you read it for enjoyment:
Ah, a lesser find than a pair of pumps, whilst a worn denier I
am without
And likely a cobbler’s pair I dream of naught
The shower nine o’ five asks Finer – for left and right will
ever be sought.
Amongst the crowds; a search wrought
Remains a’ lacking that perfect fit to scald and
lacquer in suds under the shower.
There is no beggars conversance
having already set my sights to sandals.
No homeless wanderer has paid this price of Google’s
triad now a quartet
Of sandals, yes, they’re left, no, the right…
O’er the cleaner
Both I admire, lest the hour will pass…when
A tap tap tapping arrive the Cherie sandals
Both left and right.
Thank
you very much, I really appreciate the chance to obtain sandals (I am a
temporary worker). In all honestly, I have been waiting for the price to go
down at Rite-Aid; but even those sandals are not cheap (I am a female with a
rather large foot size – 9.5 to 11 range; but anything will do). Take
care.
Sincerely,
NAME REMOVED
ok here go's Those dam Google Sandals are to small for my feet, I look at them and think to myself that they would be nice to have and say and, I live google, but with out them, Iam Google, but my foot size is "SIZE 13". I think that two of those almost fit on one foot. maybe be if you had Four of them, them might fit with a little "DUCK TAP". So there go my pear of Google Sandals! sign: